Simply Shreya: me first


Morgan Kong

Wingspan's Shreya Jagan shares her personal take on issues and experiences in her weekly column Simply Shreya.

Shreya Jagan, Staff Reporter

Some days, I ask myself the question of how many countless times I try to put others before myself.

It happens often, not going to lie. 

But, it took me a while to come to terms with the fact that I try to make others happy to the extent that I forget to make myself happy.

And this is common with so many people. As humans, we all have certain characteristics and qualities instilled in us. One of these characteristics is that we care. Having immense compassion for others is what makes us human. It’s a part of who we are.

Through each experience, I’ve come to see that it’s very possible and even likely to lose yourself in this maze of trying to be someone to everybody except yourself. 

It’s like I’m so caught up in being first in line for every single person, that when it comes to figuring things out for myself, everything immediately becomes blurry. In that time period where I completely let go, I had to search for myself again.And this isn’t something we do on purpose, it just happens subconsciously when you have that compassion and loyalty so deeply imbedded into your personality. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for helping out the ones you love and care about. But through my eyes, it seems impossible to be there and be present for others and still manage to do the same for yourself all at once. It’s not a race. Even though it may seem like it, there isn’t a timer running, there isn’t a clock ticking. Take your time to change things one by one. Otherwise, I believe that you won’t be doing justice to those you’re trying to help, let alone yourself. How can you stand by someone’s side and “teach” them if you can’t apply what you’re trying to teach yourself?

Allow yourself to open up, so that you can understand yourself better, you can be more personal with yourself. I trust that each person has gone through something similar and can relate to what I’m saying on some level. 

Focus on yourself.

Focus on your thoughts, your mind, your feelings.

Because only when we focus on ourselves, do we really gain that perspective, that epiphany of how crucial it is to lift yourself up.