I’m not a stranger to disappointment. 

I used to be an expert; until I came to terms with the backstory behind said disappointments.

It’s not something that you can just avoid and leave in the back of your mind. It’s hard to deal with confrontation towards ourselves. And it’s hard to accept that we’ve made mistakes. 

We can rise from our disappointment, but we can’t forget about it altogether. We experience that feeling for a reason. 

Sometimes I receive this amazing opportunity and I just take it for granted. Like, that built-in confidence that’s instilled in me just takes over and I just stick to the mindset that I can do it. I’m not one to complain. It feels great to have faith in yourself. Except when we experience a thing known as overconfidence. I don’t get overconfident that often, but when I do, I let things slip my grasp.

And ultimately, because I didn’t cater my time to the opportunity, I didn’t receive the recognition that I was looking for. Without a doubt, I was disappointed, but somehow it also got me thinking. 

Am I proud of myself?

Did I work towards my goal?

Do I deserve what’s next?

I wasn’t surprised, my answers to all these questions were nos. And it’s not because I’m not capable of succeeding. But I was simply just lazy. It’s funny how many things you can lose in life from being lazy. 

Change doesn’t happen in a day, or a month, or even a year. 

Change isn’t a set period of time. 

Change is relative to who we are and how much we yearn to grow.

At this moment, if I ask myself these questions again, I’m confident enough to say my answers will all be yes. 

And that’s the change that matters.