After coming back from swimming when she was in elementary school, senior Shenal Christian’s mom found a white spot on her leg that she had not noticed before. This small spot turned out to be vitiligo, which Christian was later diagnosed with.
Learning to swim
April 5, 2019
My whole life I had felt scared. I was scared of the unknown and what would come out of not knowing enough. I feared that people would look at me and run away. I believed my spots would keep me from being the best version of myself. Most of all, I was terrified that my condition would be insurmountable and I would be forever limited by it.
My name is Shenal Christian and I have vitiligo.
When I was in elementary school, my friends and I wanted to learn how to swim and I begged and pleaded with my parents to sign me up so that I can hang out with my friends. Every other day after school we would go to Emler Swim School and learn the basics of swimming. I was very excited to get in to the pool, and would often be the first one in the water. It reminded me of growing up on the beaches of California when I was younger and how I felt one with the water.
One day, my mom noticed a white splotch on my right leg, about the size of a quarter and she tried to rub it out with soap and water, to no avail. She grew worried and researched what to do. My world shattered when I went to the dermatologist for the first time and was diagnosed with vitiligo.
Hearing there was no cure, I was no longer going to be the bubbly little girl I once was. My days would be spent going to light therapy and avoiding sunlight. I could no longer swim or hang out with my friends. Worst of all, I was not myself, I was changing colors.
I felt like a chameleon. The spot on my leg grew like wildfire. It spread to my other leg and back, arms, groin, wrists, chest, elbows, the inside of my lip, and my ear. I was 60 percent white.
I felt alienated from my family, who were Indian by heritage, and my friends, who were only one skin color. I would wear turtlenecks and tights and jeans in the summertime and kids would laugh at me.
I never dared to wear a dress. I could not go swimming or go to the beach. I quit dancing. I hated going out, for fear that people would look at my arms and get scared of “catching” whatever I had.
Kids who did see the spots would say “ewwww gross” and run away. Parents would ask if my condition was contagious and teachers would call me up to talk to them.
I did not understand why my body’s cells were attacking themselves. I had taken excellent care of my skin ever since I was young. I would moisturize and put on sunscreen and avoid touching too many things. I was thrown into the deep end with no way out and no knowledge of how to swim or float.