More often than not it’s the parent’s job to nurture and protect their child as well as teach them how to survive on their own when they grow up. But, what can be done when the line between being protective and being overbearing is crossed? Many students disobey their parents and go places or do things they aren’t necessarily supposed to and can just laugh it off, while others are punished and treated like criminals when they didn’t really do anything wrong.

My own mother will simply ground me for asking to go to someone’s house, or to the mall, without her there to hold my hand the whole time. (Keep in mind I’m a senior, 17-years-old and don’t involve myself in dangerous activity at any point in time.) It’s been a long week and maybe I want to hang out with a friend for a couple hours to just wind down. What does she say?

“It’s not the right time for something like that.”
“There you go again.”
“You’re not allowed to ride in cars with other people.”
“What have I told you about going to other people’s houses?”
“You…didn’t clean your room when I asked you to; so no.”
“I know I’m off of work, you still can’t go though.”
“Did anyone say you could go somewhere?”
“etc…”

On one rare occasion I even asked her if she would teach me how to drive because I should have learned years ago. She tells this elaborate story about how I crashed into everyone on the bumper-cars when I was younger and that because of that, something that happened years ago, I can’t be trusted behind the wheel.

When the topic of college came up, my mom threatened to move next to me if I ever moved away and told me I wasn’t capable of living on my own (I know what you’re thinking. She was not joking she was very serious.)

Perhaps my mom is just trying to protect me because she wants me to live another day. But, what’s the point of keeping me alive if I not living, not socializing, and not learning to be independent? By shielding children from things like going out, socializing, or just experiencing life, parents are crippling us socially and making it harder for us to problem solve and survive in the real world.

We’ve established the problem, but how do we fix it? How can parents protect their children without limiting them and how can we make sure children respect that parents only want the best for them? I don’t have the answers, but please let me know if you do. For now, we can only hope to grow from under our parent’s clenched wing until we are adults ourselves.