Beyond the rare couple that continue their relationship that started as high school sweethearts, most students are aware that most high school relationships don’t last and it’s mostly for the experience. All of us are growing up, but that doesn’t require us to lock into a relationship as choosing to stay single isn’t a sign of a lack of maturity, but rather different priorities.

It’s not uncommon to want to have that experience of going out, having that someone to always hang out with and tell anything to and many believe that you need to be in a relationship to be happy. What some people don’t realize though, is that some of students aren’t thrilled by the idea of dating and that’s alright too.

There are reasons behind a fear of commitment. Yes it is a high school relationship and it’s not meant to last, but there are some that don’t want that heartache if it’s not needed. No one wants to experience the pain, the vulnerability of letting someone get to know you, the inevitability of having to change some traits to suit your partner. Some students are in that place where they can handle that, and others aren’t.

I personally don’t date, and I’m not afraid to admit it because I don’t think it’s something anyone should be embarrassed about. For the majority of my life I have been that third wheel to my friends and that has been a choice of mine; I’m simply not ready. I don’t feel like I’m at that stage in my life where I truly know myself enough to let someone else get to know me. Sometimes I don’t enjoy being single but I also don’t want to be in a relationship just to be in one or feel less lonely. For me, it’s just not worth it to give up parts myself in hopes that someone else will accept me, and because of that, I know that right now isn’t the time for me.

There can also be benefits to staying single. There’s more time to focus on yourself without having the pressure of thinking about another person. Relationships aren’t always easy and takes time away from focusing on the things that are important like school or trying to achieve goals for the future.

Having a boyfriend or girlfriend in high school is by no means wrong, but it’s also not right to allow someone to dictate your worth based on how “wanted” you are. There are too many people who jump into a relationship because they think they are supposed to and haven’t figured out what they truly want yet. It’s hard for some to trust other people and share the intimate details of their life with someone else.

If you’re not ready, don’t date someone because you think you have to, it is better to wait until you’ve found someone who is worth it.

Sincerely,

Sydney