I’ve always been the type of person that avoids all conflict whenever possible. I’ll admit that I fear conflict so much, I will apologize for something that wasn’t remotely my fault. I’ve recently come to learn, though, that the more you avoid these kinds of things, the more they catch up to you in the long run.

Conflict is just natural; it’s inevitable. It’s nature’s way of creating change. More importantly, conflict is not a contest. It isn’t about winning or losing; it’s about learning and growing from it.

Resolving conflict is rarely about who is right. It’s about acknowledgement and appreciation of differences. It begins within. Once we unhitch the burden and heighten our perceptions, we are able to communicate with each other more fully and freely.

When faced with conflict, I’m learning how to accept the fact that it is happening and how to go about it. I’ve learned that it’s better to appeal to people’s senses rather than simply justifying why you are right. By this I mean telling them things like “I know you’re smart enough to understand this” or “I trust your judgement enough to realize…” without being sarcastic.

No matter how certain you are that you are right, the only way for the conflict to go over smoothly is to be patient and have a civilized conversation with that person.

Tip toeing around problems and acting like they don’t exist only work for a little bit. Instead of finding out the hard way, learn how to handle issues as they come and dismiss them.

It’s not about whether you have conflict in your life. It’s what you do with that conflict that makes a difference.