I think that every individual either leans toward the lifestyle of protecting themselves or protecting others. My whole life, I have leaned toward protecting others over myself. This can be a good thing, but there is an extreme difference between being a good person and letting people walk all over you.

Being a pushover was one of the hardest things I’ve had to stop doing, but it was also one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. The way I did this lies in one simple phrase: learn when enough is enough. I am a firm believer in second chances and that everybody makes mistakes but at how many mistakes should you draw the line? This is often very hard judgment to make because usually the person giving us a hard time is someone we love. Whether it’s a friendship or a relationship, we fight for the ones we deem important; otherwise a couple mistakes would be enough.

The way to decipher this (or at least what worked for me) is determining whether or not the relationship or friendship feels more like work. If it feels as if you’re pushing a wide load while the person on the other end just sits there, it may be time to let go. People work for what matters to them, so if they’re not working to keep it intact, your value to them has probably decreased. There are people out there who actually will fight to be in your life and those are the people you should focus on.

You should never be in a friendship or a relationship that makes you unhappy. If it makes you feel bad about yourself or if it makes you feel a negative energy when you’re around them, it’s unhealthy. The type of people you engage with and choose to spend your time with shouldn’t do this to you.

Speaking of letting go, you should never beg anyone to stand by you or to stay in your life or even to “do better.” If they had the intention of treating you right initially, they would’ve already done so. Stop waiting for people to be better and go find the ones that already are.