For most of my young teenage life, I was obsessed with having friends. I had to make sure I was surrounded by people all the time. Reputation was everything to me. Now, I have not only learned the benefits of keeping my circle small, but I am okay with being alone.

When I started online school, it was one extreme to the another. I went from being surrounded by 2000+ people 5 days a week to sitting alone in my room with just my laptop. At first, it was weird. It definitely took some getting used to. The thing is though, I used to absolutely hate being alone and now I can find peace with it. I still consider myself just as social as before, but being alone doesn’t affect me in the way it used to.

The way I used to depend on people was unhealthy. At any given moment when I was by myself, I immediately began texting my friends things like: “Can you come over?” or “Can we go out?” And it wasn’t just out of boredom; it was because being alone made me incredibly anxious.

This experience has taught me so many things. When I’m alone, I now find comfort in my own company. I even consider myself my own friend. It is such a relieving feeling because I can just be by myself and be completely comfortable.

I have also become much more to liking a small circle of friends. Before, I was all about big groups even if I wasn’t crazy about everyone there. These things just lead to conflict and drama whereas keeping it lowkey creates genuine relationships and connections that you actually want.

The high school experience is all about getting to know yourself as well as you can, and this is has been the biggest change for me so far.