I consider myself a very composed person and I would like to think that it’s quite difficult to really catch me off my guard, but I don’t even feel any shame in admitting that I almost spit out my drink when my friend told me that we have less than 40 days left in the school year. This comes as a particularly harsh blow from the ever elusive passage of time because this is my final year of high school.

I’m not sentimental or anything so I’m more excited to graduate than I am nostalgic. I can’t wait for summer, senior trips, and eventually college. It just feels a little strange to think that I used to be a freshman worried about my STAAR tests just three years ago; nowadays, I’m more stressed about the fact that I still haven’t taken my senior pictures.

However, in the midst of all the craziness of getting ready to graduate and figuring out my college plans, I know I can count on one thing to remain the same these last few weeks before school lets out: AP tests. No other time of the year can one actually feel the stress emanating from sleep-deprived, hyper-caffeinated students staring at the words on their textbooks–not reading, but rather willing the information to take root in their minds. A chorus of “We never learned this in class” mingles with the flippant refrain of “Don’t worry they never ask questions about that” to synthesize the ever-surging tempo of delirium that is only quelled by the relief of closing one’s final AP test booklet for the year. I don’t think anyone knows how they get through May every year–they just do.

One of the aspects of AP season that brings me the most stress is the review process. Each AP class is a year’s worth of coursework and the test will test everything the teacher has thrown at us since August. Personally, my retention of knowledge is abysmal–most of the time, I completely forget about a topic once I’ve taken the test over that unit. The last couple of years, I’ve bought review books for each AP test I plan to take–not only is that quantity of holistic review incredibly stressful to take on in my own time, it becomes really expensive on top of the initial cost of the AP exams themselves. And in the end, they really didn’t help me any more than the reviews my teachers were already conducting in class.

This year, I’ve decided to only buy review books for AP Government because I had it last semester and it’ll help me brush up on any topics that may have slipped my mind. Other than that, I’ll leave it to my yearlong study of each class to carry me through the tests.

Maybe this year, I’ll just be a spectator in the anxiety-ridden antics of AP season instead of an active participant.