A majority of teenagers would rather trip and fall than go to school. That may be an exaggeration, but that’s how it feels for some of us. There are people who look forward to going to school and socializing with their friends and then there are those who cry every night about it, which has been a common trend for me in the past few months.

Every morning, like so many others, I would dread getting up and spending another day here. The thought of it would make me miserable and I couldn’t enjoy the weekend because I knew I would have to go to school the following Monday. It became so unbearable for me that I was absent constantly, every week I would have makeup work and then I would have to stay later to compensate for the time I was missing. It was a domino effect and I considered dropping out completely numerous times.

Fortunately, I was talked out of making an impulsive decision but it didn’t feel like I could continue on and something needed to change. There are many people that hate school but they still understand that it’s something everyone has to do. It wasn’t like that for me, as I didn’t care about the consequences so I avoided it all together. Then I learned that it was not too late to enroll at online school for the new semester and I knew it was the fresh start I was looking for.

It’s not the school that was the problem, it was me. I was one of those straight A students who would enjoy dressing up for dances and cheering at pep rallies. I tried to be involved in every club offered and it was unheard of that I had ever gotten in trouble.

I wanted that person back, but too many changes occurred in my life to the point where I couldn’t be that person anymore. When I knew those things didn’t appeal to me anymore, I still felt like I had to put on a mask and pretend they did because I wanted to enjoy those aspects of high school like everyone else. This was also how it felt like every day, in every class. I was surrounded by people who either talked about parties and their most recent hookup or people who dedicated their whole lives to school and I couldn’t be either of those things.

Making the decision to withdraw wasn’t something I had to think about for a long time. I knew it was the best thing for me and my only chance at succeeding. While I do still have to attend classes at online school, I have the opportunity to learn the way I want, and most importantly I have more time to explore activities that actually mean something to me. What I hope will come from the switch is the strength to come back for the next school year and actually be able to truly appreciate it.

Sincerely,

Sydney