It is very hard to be motivated for anything these days. It’s also very hard to keep track of time. My sleep schedule is ruined. Time passes both slowly and way too fast. I’m extremely bored even though there are tons of things for me to do, but I choose not to because I don’t feel like doing them–I lack the motivation. I feel kind of bad for not attempting productivity, or at the very least not engaging in it as much as I can. You get so used to the structure that school provides that, if you aren’t used to making your own structure outside of that setting, self-isolation becomes more and more difficult to cope with.

I’m definitely not miserable. My schedule is, despite it being way out of order, is relatively lax. I just wish I could do more. But at the same time, I know that pushing myself to do things that I very much do not have the energy for will just continue to burn me out. I think that’s something that we all should understand: forced productivity is nowhere near as good as legitimate productivity. If you can’t find it in you to really do anything at all this week, then that’s fine. You aren’t useless or lazy because you simply don’t have the motivation and effort needed to do anything, whether it be classwork or really anything that requires those things.

Why spend time on something that you don’t have any spirit in doing, resulting in a poor effort, instead of just waiting for that spirit to come to you? It all sounds pretty corny, admittedly, but you get what I’m saying. You do not have to always be working or doing at least something, especially when in times like this, no one is really expecting you to. Sure, it may work out for people to always work and not be affected by lack of motivation, but for those that do: it’s totally okay to just do nothing. That’s what I’ve been doing for these past weeks.