Recently I’ve been trying to figure myself out a little a bit, an identity crisis if you will. The more you learn about the world, the more you question whether it applies to you or not. And wow, I’ve been learning a lot.

Almost every day in society we’re told to “be a lady” or “man up”. And even when I was younger, I never really understood what these expressions meant. Why are women expected to be prim and proper while men are expected to be strong and aggressive? These expectations are built off of centuries-old stereotypes that we should know better than to use. 

Gender and sex are two very different things and do not always correlate. Sex essentially refers to your body which can be categorized into male or female. Gender however is more of how you present yourself or your identity. 

Gender role stereotypes are also harmful. Ever noticed how there are many more men than women in the Supreme Court? Many people have the idea the men are the ones who should be in politics while women stay at home. 

Pronouns are a large part of your gender identity, however, these don’t always have to correlate either. Everyone has pronouns and it’s just an indicator of what you would like to be called by. Most people go by their standard she/her or he/him while others feel uncomfortable and instead go by they/them or neo-pronouns like xe/xem.

Over the past year, I’ve been questioning, what does it truly mean to be a girl? Am I a girl? How much does society’s expectations affect the way we act, down to our identity?

What many people need to understand is that old gender norms are harmful to everyone. It should be normal for men to be more feminine or for women to be more masculine. However, every time I’ve seen either of these on social media or in real life, it’s accompanied by hate. 

I wish it wouldn’t matter so much to others what someone wants to do with their life or how they’d like to dress. It doesn’t affect them in any way, so why do people get so mad? Especially when the subject of their anger is something that won’t hurt them.

In the end, what is gender really? Depends on the person and how they’d like to define it. After all, in the words of Park Jimin of BTS, “what the heck is ‘men’?”