“So what college are you going to next year?”

Every high school senior is met with that same question over and over, with the same expectant and slightly judgemental look on the adult’s face. What I want to say is “none of your business,” but what I end up awkwardly saying is “Oh I’m still looking into some.”

It sounds like an innocent question right? The intentions of the person asking are I’m sure of, but I can’t help but feel slightly bothered by the question itself. There’s absolutely no problem with people asking polite questions about post-graduation life, but when it’s specified to sound like you are expected to go to college in the first place I see a problem with it.

Many families expect their children to go to a stable college or university in order to continue the path of post secondary education, career, and retirement to achieve their unique American dream. While many students are perfectly content with this path and would prefer it, others, like myself, see that there are plenty of alternatives and would rather work towards those options.

Understand upfront that this is not an anti-college article. It has absolutely nothing to do with offending those who are going to college and are not bothered by the question. I am simply making aware that those who are not going to college straightaway feel differently about the question. The issue at hand is the stigma of “if you don’t go to college then you will not be successful in life.” We need to break that stigma.

Yes, in reality, a college degree is required for many higher level jobs and careers, and will almost certainly ensure a higher income rate than those without one. Expecting to be the CEO of GE while having a high school diploma in one hand and a bucket of hope in the other is unrealistic. But I’m a firm believer that success is all in the mind and will of the person. Smart decisions and determination can go places a bachelor’s in linguistics may not. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, pioneers of the technology industry, were both college dropouts. Men who are perceived as two of the most intelligent entrepreneurs in the world with not a degree to their names. Mark Twain and Charles Dickens never obtained any degree in English, yet their works are essential to literature education.

Even if you don’t understand or necessarily respect those who are choosing not to immediately go to college, please refrain from specifically asking the question. It’s uncomfortable to those who have to explain that this is not their path. It leaves others feeling like there’s something wrong with them for having other plans and dreams. Just because a person isn’t immediately going to college it doesn’t mean they never will. Studying abroad, working, or simply taking the year off to decide are perfectly understandable alternatives. Please consider that there are many who also can’t afford to immediately go to college and would rather not be held back by student loans for the rest of their life. I would also ask that individuals, who worked so hard for their degrees, please refrain from judging those who are without degrees themselves in the future. Many have worked just as hard to reach the place of where they’re at, and if they’re happy with their circumstances, then let them be.

If nothing else is obtained from this article, please understand this. A little consideration is needed when asking young adults where they are headed in the future. Instead of asking “what college are you going to?” maybe ask “what are your plans for in the future?” or “what do you plan on doing post graduation?” They sound the same right? Eliminating college from the question resolves the tinge of self-consciousness some may feel in response to that.

Also, ask yourself whether it is really any of your business or not. Asking a friend and asking a stranger are entirely separate circumstances, and if you’re not close with them then contemplate the possibility of leaving the subject alone.