Being misunderstood is something that the human race can collectively understand. We are born misunderstood until our parents or whoever is “raising” us gets us to say either “mama” or “dada” or “sock”, you never know. From a young age, I was taught to act proper and be the best I can be at all times. This thought was embedded into my mind until it suffocated me because I realized that I had no identity. I didn’t know who I was. That was until I saw rock’n’roll for the first time. 

Don’t get me wrong, I always knew what rock music was because I was raised listening to all types of music. I mean, my mom played Metallica to put me to sleep growing up. Exit Sandman was my ultimate lullaby. 

I knew rock until I saw rock and I felt liberated. 

I know what you must be thinking, what led to this? Well, that story begins in my first month of 9th grade. My Physical Education teacher knew that I had issues running and basically moving in general because of joint issues all over my body, but especially in my legs. 

He told me that I was not allowed to participate in class until I had gone to the doctor’s office and been cleared for physical efforts. Little did I know, I would never get clearance to join in on P.E. ever again.

2 weeks and 5 mass blood tests later, I was diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE), an incurable autoimmune disease that causes inflammation and is characterized by the body’s immune system attacking tissue and organs, at the ripe age of 14.

I started spiraling. I would do nothing all day except lay down quietly in an empty room and listen. To what? Well, obviously rock! It was then that I asked myself “what am I doing with my life??” I desperately needed change because I couldn’t live the rest of my life being a fake, perfect version of myself. 

My Chemical Romance, Bon Jovi, the Mötley Crüe, Avenged Sevenfold, and many other bands brought life to my dull and unfeeling self. The style, the fashion, their carefree attitude toward everything was perfect. This is who I was meant to be. I wanted so badly to not care what people thought of me and that’s who I am now.

I dress how I feel, I talk how I want, and I don’t take anything from anyone because I don’t have the energy to. Not when I am busy fighting my own body on a daily basis.

This is why I love rock. Rock is about living your truth and I want nothing more than for everyone to be expected to live their truth. Nothing less, either.

I live my truth by taking my pills. I live my truth by having fun with my friends. I live my truth when I sing. I live my truth by owning my lupus. I live my truth by being me.

I hope you only find the courage to do the same. I hope that you have an eye opening moment like mine, minus the lupus of course. I wish that you could live your own truth every day.