As you may or may not have heard, almost all Facebook products were completely offline Monday until late afternoon, and quite literally over a billion users worldwide were left in the dark. Many fled to twitter, and speculated over the possible causes of such a modern catastrophe, and what exactly it means for the rest of the world.

Sadly, it meant nothing. As soon as the platforms were available again, social media junkies (myself included), after chomping at the bit for hours, grabbed the needle and jammed it right back into their arms. I myself found myself scrambling back online, after being forced to reduce myself to using the barbaric iMessage, the communication equivalent to banging sticks and rocks together, with a smoke signal or two in between.

It was fascinating to watch the fact that the entire news cycle was completely perplexed, with some reporting that Facebook employees key cards weren’t even working properly to enter their building. Where is a horrific rainstorm when you need it? 

Others “reported” a massive data-wipe conspiracy that would make Icke blush. 

“Sure,” Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg said. “Let’s lose billions of dollars to cover ourselves after a 60 Minutes interview came out confirming what everyone already knows.” 

Absolutely monstrous.

Hopefully this happens more often. I think we could all use a break from social media.