I watch a lot of TedEd videos in my free time. Yesterday, I came upon this one called “The power of vulnerability.” 

Social worker Brené Brown, who also happens to be a “storyteller researcher,” shares some findings in her field. She describes her research as qualitative, and the lecture itself does not have figures, so if you feel my summation is lacking hard data, that is why.

Her decade-long research crusade centered around identifying the difference in those who attained connection and those who still sought it. The difference she found, from her case studies, long interviews, and mailed in journal entries, was that those who had connection had a sense of worthiness. Those who were always seeking and could never find it across the board lacked this sense.

She wanted to identify what else these people had, those that attained connection. Courage, compassion, and vulnerability came to surface. Courage and vulnerability sandwich compassion quite nicely as it turns out, as it takes courage to be vulnerable, and both of the two to extend compassion. Through this, apparently you have your connection. 

I stumbled upon this at a very opportune time. As my friends would know, I’ve been griping about how I feel a lack of connection. Many people misinterpret what I mean, because they know I talk with people, share laughs, and have friends. What I’ve been meaning is that on a human to human level, cutting superficiality and walks in the hall of convenience, it’s felt a little bare. 

What’s odd is that I’ve never felt I was asking for too much; that would indicate a low sense of worthiness, probably. I know I am vulnerable and courageous (sometimes to a fault) and in most circumstances compassionate. It leaves one with an eerie feeling knowing that they can do no more to improve their situation. 

There is a quote that I stumbled upon, again, at an opportune time. Hedy Lamarr said it in concluding her last interview, ever. By the way, the documentary on her is worth a watch. It goes (and this is just some of it, because it’s very long), “People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.” 

That quote sums up all I have to say, really. I guess all there is to it is to be frank, honest, and wholehearted anyway.