Unfortunately, I was born with the genes of someone who worries more than is ever necessary.

The idea of being a go-with-the-flow kind of person makes me tense up. I don’t like the unknown and all that it could bring to my doorstep—I’m already dealing with more than enough.

But lately, I’ve been trying to be more open to new things and stepping outside of what I know how to do routinely. A lot of the interests I have require a level of flexibility, especially as I get older and become less reliant on my family.

I took a pottery class for beginners just to see how it’d go. While I have a lot of complex issues with textures and my hands being unclean, but it was really fun. It was kind of like cooking: once you’re in the thick of it, you learn to accept getting your hands dirty.

Now, mind you, I have zero artistic talent. Every inclination I have is spoken, written, or danced. I’ve never been good at drawing or painting, but I still managed to laugh while making the ugliest mug the world has ever seen. 

Even within my comfort areas, there’s always room for expansion and letting myself go. The dance department’s field trip to Texas Woman’s University to take masterclasses outside of our norm was extremely refreshing.

I was in the floorwork class, with most of our choreography being centered in the ground, with illusions and sitrolls and cartwheels. There was live music and a beautiful view of the campus from our studio, with a calm instructor. 

The choreography was flowy and free, and we were encouraged to go at our own pace. We didn’t have to be uniform, which is so abnormal to me. But it also made me feel less out of place when I was given the opportunity to take agency over my experience.

Sometimes, things can just be fun. I think I should let go a little more.

Life isn’t meant to be lived with tense shoulders and worry lines. There’s laughter and mistakes and so much more beyond what you tell yourself there is.