The horrid CommonApp essay…
If someone needs a one trick pony to get a high school senior to cry, ask them to explain their CommonApp essay. I don’t think there is anything worse than asking a child to think of all of the traumatic things they’ve experienced or think of what makes them unique.
The 650 word essay, with seven different prompts, was what I knew was going to be the most challenging part about the application process. This essay is something I’ve been working on for years. Since the summer before my junior year, I’ve been brainstorming ideas, putting them in my notes app, expanding on those ideas when inspiration struck, and just overall dedicated a ton of time trying to ease the actual writing when the time came.
My efforts were futile, because now that the time has come for me to actually write it, I got nothing. I sit down at my desk to try and come up with a compelling story that will show these admissions officer how much of a worthy student I am to attend their school, but then I’ll get stuck on how to start the essay, and then I’ll fall down the Reddit rabbit hole of reading other peoples’ essays. I’ll compare mine to these amazing, heartwarming stories about the most niche topics and I’ll have a near existential crisis thinking, “am I basic?”
So far, I’ve written about four different drafts, all pertaining to a different prompt and different topic. I’ll read them and read them but to my ears it’ll sound cringey, overdone, *insert negative word here*. Anything bad about a college essay, I’ve thought of it. It’s to the point where I am too insecure to share it with even those closest to me.
I feel all of this pressure on me to have a good admissions cycle, but at the same time I’m not getting the support or reassurance that I so desperately need. There’s just such a heavy burden on my shoulders with all I’m taking on this year. I’m editor of the newspaper, which I have been dying to become since freshman year. I’m in the running to become captain of my mock trial team. I have all of these senior activities I want to go to. But college applications, school, and all of my other obligations are getting in the way of having an easy-going senior year that I envisioned for myself.
In a way, though, I like all of these responsibilities that I have. It reminds me of all that I do, and that I am, in fact, a qualified applicant to some of these schools. It’s truly such a difficult situation to be in. I have to perfect this essay soon though. My timelines is getting smaller and smaller as I sit here and it seems like there isn’t enough time to get all the things I need to get done, done. I’m not behind, though. I would actually say I’m pretty ahead, but the sheer stress of everything has been putting me in peak anxiety mode. To calm myself I utter the mantra “everything will work out, you do you”.
Hopefully, by the next update, I will be finished and have submitted a couple applications. The finish line is what’s keeping me going, and I am just counting the days until I get there.
