For a friend in need I will undeniably do whatever I can to be of help.

To me, it’s not an obligation I have as someone’s friend to be of service to them. If you’re important in my life, I will especially focus my time and efforts to be there for you–simply because you matter to me, and I care.

Yet sometimes I feel scared if I’m truly putting forth my effort and demonstrating on my end my investment and commitment to my friendships–that I’m not only flourishing because of the relationships I’ve forged around me, but I’m also giving back equally, if not more.

I become deeply insecure at times over this because I always want to be the best person and dependable friend for the loved ones around me, so much so that I try to keep tabs upon my contributions to my friendships. I never want to be someone “leeching” off others by any means or become a burden.

The thing is though: acts of kindness are not business transactions. It’s not something I should keep track of and tally away. I shouldn’t reduce it to that.

A wise friend of mine told me when we discussed this issue of mine that just as I do favors and help friends simply because I want to, my friends do the same for me.

It’s a simple thought, but something I need to remind and reassure myself of.

There’s no need to be so paranoid over whether I’m putting my 100% into the relationships around me, but that’s easier said than embraced as a mindset.

I think what does help is having open conversations with my friends about this. Communication is really key. Discussing my thoughts and worries has helped me come to terms with this and brought my mind to ease and some peace.