Disclaimer: I have a garter, but that doesn’t mean I approve of mum-and-garter culture. 

I have lived in Texas for over four years now.

The culture here has yet to surprise me; one of nationalism for the state, a strong sense of school spirit, and a love for football. Whether Texas teens admit it or not, they exhibit state nationalism in the distinct and confusing tradition of mums and garters.

I just don’t get it. 

Mums are just Mardi-Gras-esque billboards of fake feathers and mini teddy bears that hang across girls’ necks during the school day and the football game. Their male counterparts play as a complimenting accessory, wearing mini versions called garters. 

Meant to display school spirit and show what clubs and organizations students are a part of, the meaning is diluted by all the fluff. I guess ribbons that say one’s grade level make sense, but someone please give me an answer as to why there’s a teddy bear hot-glued to a cardboard circle. 

The size of these beasts seem to only increase from year to year.

Freshmen always have cute and quaint ones, which are acceptable. Sophomores believe they have to up their game, adding more ribbons and feathers. Then junior year comes along, resulting in an increase in the rate of mum-and-garter growth. 

Finally, senior year comes.

Naturally all the girls want to add lights, bells, whistles, and even the modest boom box. This makes sense. $300 dollars spent on a one-time accessory, a sustainable and reasonable choice. Please read that with sarcasm, because that’s what it was. 

Nevertheless, the tradition persists, thousands of dollars go down the drain for the sake of “memories” and “school spirit,” and I will be wearing a garter on Thursday. 

Mums: 1, Sensibility: 0.