In our increasingly polarized political climate, I’m sure we’ve all heard the phrase “why can’t we just agree to disagree” in conversations about politics. 

Whether it was about a new policy brought forth by the Trump administration, the recent presidential election, the Black Lives Matter movement, or basically any conversation about politics with someone who thinks differently than you, chances are, it very quickly devolves into a heated argument. 

The recent election cycle made these conversations even more polarized, and I know relationships and friendships that have been lost or seriously harmed by opposing viewpoints. Consequently, I’ve seen many people complain about this, and ask their friends and family, “why can’t we just agree to disagree? It’s just politics!”

But here’s the thing: a lot of these recent conversations have not been about “just” politics. They have been about morals, ethics, and humanity. 

I cannot and will not “agree to disagree” with someone who supports policy and legislation that actively discriminates against my very existence and the existence of those I care about. 

I cannot and will not “agree to disagree” with someone who supports the use of inflammatory rhetoric, racism, homophobia, and discrimination. 

For minorities and BIPOC, politics is not an abstract concept confined to the walls of the White House and posts on social media. Legislation, policy change, and racist or derogatory rhetoric actively harm and affect us. 

When someone I know supports certain politicians and platforms, it tells me that they don’t care about me on a fundamental level. I am a woman of color and an immigrant, and I’m not your exception. It doesn’t matter if you “don’t mean me” when you’re spewing hate speech about my community, because regardless of your intent, it does. 

I can agree to disagree about Taylor Swift songs and Quentin Tarantino movies. However, I’m not going to try to maintain a friendship with someone who defends and supports politics that actively harms me and those I care about.