Recently, I have gotten back into K-pop. As a kid, I remember listening to Red Velvet’s Ice Cream Cake and BTS’s Dope with my brothers. Back then, K-pop was the only thing I listened to, so much so that I was completely unaware that most people at the time had no idea what K-pop was. It was a time of Maroon 5, Justin Bieber, and Eminem, a world of Western music that I wasn’t a part of. 

There’s a negative connotation surrounding K-pop, which I can understand to an extent. When most people think of K-pop, they think of the crazy BTS fans who stalk the idols and collect locs of their hair. While it’s undeniable that some fans exhibit obsessive behaviors, this obsession isn’t unique to K-pop fandoms and can be seen in almost any fandom. 

As I transitioned into middle school, I strayed away from K-pop. It wasn’t as “cool” to be Korean, and like most middle schoolers, I became increasingly self-conscious about my interests, appearance, and hobbies. 

I vividly remember my friends pestering me to tell them my middle name during those awkward middle school years. My middle name could’ve been considered my deepest darkest secret, hidden away from the world. I thought it was ugly and odd, so I hid it from the world as best as I could. There were times when I longed for a more common American middle name like Elizebeth or Grace. 

Fast forward to high school, where I dived head first into K-pop. This deep dive into K-pop created ripples that have helped me become more proud of my heritage. It’s the reason I’ve chosen to use my Korean name for this blog: Sooeun.