Keeping Up with Kanika: the benefits of flexibility

From+social+issues+to+stuff+happening+on+campus%2C+senior+Kanika+Kappalayil+provides+her+take+in+this+weekly+column.+

Juleanna Culilap

From social issues to stuff happening on campus, senior Kanika Kappalayil provides her take in this weekly column.

Kanika Kappalayil, Staff Reporter

Paralysis by analysis.

I think that would sum up my worst quality.

For the longest time ever, I feel like I’d let my hyper self-awareness dictate my behavior, so much so that I would second guess everything. For one thing, I remember distinctly not being able to define my relationships with people.

I’d be insecure about the fact that someone I find myself to be close with could potentially not see me as a close or good friend. As such, I’d let others identify our friendship and parameters, anxious not to step on anyone’s toes or be overwhelming.

I’d think so far ahead in advance on what decisions to make, just so I would consider all possible implications and ramifications.

I feel that a lot of my friends themselves would be shocked to hear this about myself as I’m a very spontaneous and flexible person, but yet this was one thing I struggled a lot with and still do.

It’s no way to live, and I’m happy I’ve made active steps to curb this behavior that’s been so ingrained in me. The problem with becoming accustomed to that outlook in life is that it implies you don’t matter, and I don’t want to propagate that mindset.

I’d like to be less restrained and not sweat the small stuff.

Maybe Nike was onto something with “Just Do It.”

Simply put, that’s more of the attitude I’d like to adopt.