13 days…

13 days left in 2019.

13 days left in this decade.

I guess time really did fly.

Ten years ago, I was 5. In 2010, I was an adorable 5 year old that went to Kindergarten. The only things I knew in life were family and friends. I didn’t have a single worry and life was so simple. That’s how it is when you look at things through these distorted lenses. Everything seems perfect, and that’s because everything is perfect; for a 5 year old.

When you’re five, things feel slow. I felt like I wasn’t growing up fast enough, that time wasn’t moving at the right speed. Man, I couldn’t wait to be a teenager.

Present day, I’m 15. In 2019, I’m an emotional 15 year old that goes to high school. I know so many things about life that I can’t do anything about. So many things I want to change but can’t. Life seems like it couldn’t get any more complicated.

At least once a day, I find myself wishing that I was 5 again. Time is moving too fast and I can’t keep up. It’s like I blink and everything rushes past me. And, I don’t like it. I don’t like it all. Feeling like you don’t have control of things, I simply don’t like it.

I’ve spent countless hours coming to terms with the fact that I can’t turn back time. I’m not 5 anymore. Many times I’ve used the phrase “I’m not a kid anymore”, but wow, right now I really wish I was lying everytime I said that.

3 months ago, I thought it was so cool that the decade was ending. But, as I’m sitting here just thinking about the last ten years, I realize that I’m not ready to part with these memories that I have.

This decade brought me some bad, but it also brought a lot of good.

So, dear past, thank you for everything.

And dear future, I’m ready for you.

But until then, there’s 13 days left in this decade.

13 days left in 2019.

And those 13 days are mine.