It’s only been 5 minutes. Have some self-control, I thought to myself. 

But what if I’m missing out? There has to be something important going on right now, I tell myself. 

You’ll be fine without it, I also tell myself. 

It’s not a big deal, I’ll only check for 5 minutes max, I tell myself as I pick up my phone. 

Was I going to remember her Snapchat story tomorrow? And am I going to remember his caption on his post the next day? No. But, it still matters. 

I told myself lies. I gave myself excuses for not being the best version of me possible.  

This is how my life progressed. That white ghost on that yellow background telling me that I’m useless unless I studied everybody else’s lives. That blue bird telling me that some celebrity must have posted something worthy of my time. I consumed my life with the lives of others. 

I let the monster get the best of me. This monster that corrupted me. Brainwashed me. This monster made me believe that my actual life didn’t matter as long as I was surrounded by filters and facades. Yeah, it’s a little dramatic, but it honestly felt like that. And sure, it’s fun. But, it never registered in my mind that this network was so toxic.

 Until it did… and it changed me.

You have to wait until it hits you. And when it does, it feels like a freight train coming at you going 100 miles per hour. 

I realized that none of it mattered.

It doesn’t matter now and it never will. 

It feels good to be able to say that and mean it. 

I do agree that social media poses its own benefits from time to time. Such as talking to a friend about homework or just to maintain that connection, or to see what organizations that you’re involved in are up to, or just as a stress reliever from time to time. But, too much of everything is unhealthy. Only the bare minimum. 

But for now, I’m taking a social media detox. 

Enough of the stories and posts and tweets. Enough of the drama, the gossip, the news. 

Enough.

No Snapchat.

No Instagram. 

No Twitter.

Nothing.

I could live without this alternate reality. 

The monster has now been chained. 

At least for now.