Sometimes, it’s so hard to stay positive. I mean, I just think of all the things that were supposed to happen, the things that could’ve happened. 

I had so much planned for this year, and right now it just feels endless. The waking up at noon, the lazy Netflix in bed, the eating lunch at 4 p.m. It’s like a cycle that just repeats over and over and over again. 

I was supposed to have my arangetram (a solo Indian classical dance recital) this year. All the preparations had been made, the auditorium booked. And we had to cancel everything like my hard work meant nothing. 

I was supposed to learn how to drive this year. Granted, I wasn’t going to use my skills anytime soon, it’s just the feeling of being able to that matters. Honestly, that seems to be the case for everything. For everyone.

 It’s good to be able to feel like you have the ability to do something or at least know that you can. But, I don’t have that anymore. None of us do. 

I think that’s what’s driving us all crazy. We like to know that even if we don’t want to do something, we have the liberty to do it. But now, we can’t do much even if we want to do it. 

The more one repeats the same things in their life everyday, the more one loses their motivation. Their drive. It brings about a certain mentality in people. If things aren’t going to change, why should we try to make them change? That kind of thing. 

But, that’s simply it. We should try to make things change because we can. That’s the only thing we can do right now. There’s always that feeling that we should be fostering. That feeling that wants us to change things. 

I was supposed to be able to leave my house this year. But, it’s ok, because the one thing that I can do is motivate myself. And for some reason, that motivation inside us all seems to be enough to get us through this.