When it comes to being Black and feminine, there’s always invisible entities breathing down your neck telling you to look ‘presentable’. 

There is enough pressure on women and feminine presenting people to begin with, but Black people are constantly expected to go above and beyond to meet the unrealistic standards that are set for us.

Whenever natural 4C hair is styled into an afro, they’re immediately deemed unruly as though afros and free curls aren’t expressions of our culture that require arduous processes and daily care and protection.

When it comes to wicks or other locked styles of hair, they’re assumed to be dirty or unkempt. 

Straightened hair, which naturally coils with humidity, sweat, and any type of moisture can’t be frizzy, and must maintain the slicked back look to be ‘pretty’ (but gel also makes tighter curl patterns revert to their natural state, so I can’t really win).

If my hair isn’t in an intricate protective style that takes hours upon hours and a world of pain, I’m not meeting the standards that non-Black people have set for us and other Black people have perpetuated.

Then there’s the matter of makeup—if it’s not done flawlessly, then I’m a failure who knows nothing about what compliments my face. I’m the topic of someone’s discussion as they walk past me, talking about the smudged mascara on my lower lashes or the excessive amount of blush on my face or whatever else there might be.

Pretty is such a subjective word, an unattainable goal, with constraints and obstacles and barriers. It’s so hard to be seen as naturally pretty when a white girl will always be thought of first when you hear the word ‘pretty’.

Black beauty should be a spectrum, with every level meeting the ever-changing definition of the word. There’s power in the phrase ‘black is beautiful’, but the power has to be seen universally, not just by the Black community.