I very often catch myself using the phrase “I wish.” 

And it’s rarely about something huge. Most of the time, it’s small moments, decisions, or situations that, at the time, felt like they mattered way more than they actually did. 

Recently, I started mentally compiling a list of things I wish I had done differently throughout high school. Not necessarily regrets, but more like lessons I learnt the hard way. 

I wish I hadn’t convinced myself that everything was that deep. 

Last year, during my junior year, I went through one of the worst periods of anxiety I’ve ever experienced, and it was all related to overthinking my role within a club. 

At the time, it felt like my entire life was crashing down around me. I convinced myself that everything depended on getting this one position. I overanalyzed every conversation, every interaction, and every possible outcome. For months, I felt like I couldn’t even breathe comfortably because I was thinking about it so much, which began affecting my relationships, grades, and, honestly, just my ability to focus on anything else. 

Looking back, that was probably one of the worst periods of my life. 

But the funny thing is, once everything was over, my reaction was surprisingly simple: it really wasn’t that deep. 

Now, when I see underclassmen stressing over a specific role or opportunity the way I did, I recognize it immediately because I’ve been there. 

So my advice to them would be simple: don’t treat one position or one opportunity like it’s the end-all, be-all. 

Because once you leave high school, nobody is going to remember who the president of a club was. What people actually remember is you as a person. 

I’ve learnt that titles fade pretty quickly, but character doesn’t. 

I wish I hadn’t chased places where I clearly wasn’t wanted. 

This is a lesson I’m still learning. 

I would consider myself a pretty ambitious person, and most of the time that’s something I’m proud of. Ambition pushes you to keep chasing opportunities, even when things don’t work out the first time. 

But sometimes, that same ambition can push you to keep chasing something that was never worth chasing in the first place. 

People love saying “when a door closes, a window opens,” but I’ve realized that phrase only really works when those windows are opportunities life throws at you, not when people are actively trying to shut you out. 

If someone doesn’t want you in their friend group, their club, or, honestly, just their life, there comes a point where you have to stop and ask yourself something pretty simple: Is it even worth continuing to chase this? 

Is it worth trying to break through another window just to get into a room that clearly doesn’t want you there? 

This year, I spent more time than I’d like to admit trying to fit into a specific friend group. I kept convincing myself that if I just tried a little harder, eventually things would click. 

But eventually, I realized something that, in hindsight, was obvious: the people who actually love me, care about me, and enjoy being around me had been there the whole time. 

I didn’t need to chase acceptance from people who were clearly trying to shut me out, and you don’t need to either. 

I wish I hadn’t treated nervousness like a flaw. 

For most of my life, I’ve associated anxiety and nervousness with being a bad thing I just had to “deal with.”

But, at DECA ICDC, one of the speakers said something that stuck with me: if you’re nervous about something, it means you care. 

And that completely changed the way I think about it. 

Being nervous before a presentation, competition, or big moment doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It just means the situation matters to you. 

If we didn’t feel nervous about things, it would probably mean we didn’t care about them at all. And caring about citations, people, and life in general is never a bad thing. 

So, instead of seeing nervousness as something negative, I’ve started trying to use it differently. If anything, nervousness now pushes me to put myself out there and do the things that feel a little scary. 

Because most of the time, once you actually do the scary thing, you realize you were capable of a lot more than you thought. 

Before I Lea-ve, 

Stop treating every moment like it’s the one that will define you, because most of the time, it won’t.